soupnazi.org

Dear Gov. Palin,

I watched you in the debate last night, and the only conclusion I could come to is that at some point in your life you’ve taken English lessons from George W. Bush. What the hell kind of sentence is this?:

Again, John McCain and I, that commitment that we have made, and we’re going to follow through on that, getting rid of that corruption.

Or this gem:

One thing that Americans do at this time, also, though, is let’s commit ourselves just every day American people, Joe Six Pack, hockey moms across the nation, I think we need to band together and say never again.

Erm… what? Wanna slow that down and run it by me one more time? My Alaskan to English translator must be failing because I have no idea what you just said.

And another:

I do take issue with some of the principle there with that redistribution of wealth principle that seems to be espoused by you.

That’s awesome, because I, too, do take issue with some of the statements made there with those statements about that statement that seems to be espoused by you. :-)

Also, perhaps you need to learn how a debate works. The whole point is that you answer the questions you’re asked. Not this:

And I may not answer the questions that either the moderator or you want to hear, but I’m going to talk straight to the American people and let them know my track record also.

Here’s an idea… answer the damn questions. Americans want you to. I know, I know, it’s hard when you have no idea what you’re talking about, but hey, you’re a maverick! I’m sure you can at least try. How do I know you’re a maverick? Because you told us so at least 3 times during the debate. If you were such a maverick, you really shouldn’t have to tell us at all—let alone multiple times.

My last bone to pick with you is that you said multiple times that you and Todd are “middle class”. Apparently your definition of middle class and mine are different. A $170,000 per year income with a huge house on a lake isn’t middle class where I’m from, and I would guess that’s the case for a hell of a lot of other people too so please stop telling us you’re a middle class family.

P.S. - The word you’re looking for is “nuclear“. I don’t know what “nookulur” or however you pronounced it is, but it sounds contagious.

P.P.S. - Thanks for winking at me (3 times even)! Good thing you’re not a man, or that sort of behavior would’ve been the talk of the day by Papa Bear O’Reilly and the rest of the conservative asshats on the face of the planet. Not only would they have talked non-stop about it and mocked it to no end, they would’ve made sure good, wholesome Americans knew it was inappropriate behavior for a Vice Presidential candidate. Not in your case though. I guess being “cute” and a “MILF” has it’s benefits, huh?

Note: For those of you who would like to make your eyes bleed and brain melt, you can read the entire transcript of the debate over at CNN.com. I must warn you, it may cause permanent damage.