Earlier today, I got an email from the Xbox Live Enforcement Team informing me that my account has been temporarily suspended due to inappropriate content in the profile for my gamertag and that either someone filed a complaint about my profile or it was discovered “over the course of operation of the service”.

Let me explain a few things of note:

1. The content in question is a quote from the movie Office Space. The entire quote is: Back up in your ass with the resurrection.
2. I knew when I added it back in November that it was questionable as to whether it was ok under the Code of Conduct, however, since it allowed me to enter the word “ass”, I assumed it fine. Other, more profane words, such as fuck and shit are rejected when you try to submit your profile. Since ass wasn’t, I assumed it was ok.
3. On the other hand, I’ve been playing a fair amount of Call of Duty: World at War Team Deathmatch games lately. Not to toot my own horn, but I’m a pretty good player. Sometimes I do exceptionally well (i.e., 30 kills with only a few deaths) and other times not so good. A few days ago, I was kicking serious ass and went 26-1-3 (26 kills, 1 assist, 3 deaths) on one of the maps. Maybe someone got butthurt at the ass-whoopin’ (perhaps the kid that went 7-18 or the one that was 6-16?) and wanted to be a douche and report me for something. Since I don’t plug in my mic, they couldn’t say I was using harsh language or whatever so they found the above and submitted a bullshit (IMO) complaint.

To be honest, I’m not even that pissed off at the suspension. If I violated the Code of Conduct, fine. Suspend me. However, there are a few things I take issue with and they really piss me off:

1. If “ass” is a forbidden word/phrase, don’t allow it to be added to the profile. This is already being done for others, so it shouldn’t be a big deal.
2. Since when is “ass” is a curse word? Really? Have you watched any network TV lately?
3. I get suspended for having the word ass in my profile, but apparently it’s perfectly fine for you to be a racist, homophobic 12-year old or fratboy. It’s damn near impossible to join a game without one of these assclowns calling everyone in the lobby a fag, nigger, jew, homo, etc.—it’s why I play without a mic 99% of the time.
4. No warning? My account was suspended for use of the word ass, and you couldn’t bother to shoot me an email or call me to ask me to remove it before suspending it? That’s pretty lousy, considering I’ve been a paying member for 5 years and my account renewed for another year on April 18th (yes, 4 days ago). Now that I think about it, they could’ve found it while checking my account after renewing. But still. For something so minor, you’d think a quick “Hey, clean up your bio” email would suffice.
5. The email I got (see below) says not to reply to the address it was sent from or to contact support because they can’t explain anything. I guess my question then is, who the fuck can? (Oh noes! Good thing this isn’t Xbox Live or that’d be another code of conduct violation!)

Here’s a copy of the email (emphasis theirs):

Xbox LIVE
Notification of Temporary Suspension: Inappropriate content in your profile

[ DO NOT REPLY to this email address. It is not monitored. ]

This email is to notify you that your Xbox LIVE account privileges have been suspended due to inappropriate content in the profile for your gamertag. The inappropriate content was discovered in the Motto, Bio, Location, Name and/or Personal Picture.

Your profile was brought to the attention of the LIVE Enforcement Team through complaints filed by other Xbox LIVE users or in the course of our operation of the service. The LIVE Enforcement Team has reviewed the complaints and other evidence regarding this content and determined it violates the Xbox LIVE Terms of Use and/or Code of Conduct. Because this content is in violation, the LIVE Enforcement Team has deleted the content and issued a temporary suspension.

You have been sent a message in the Xbox LIVE Dashboard notifying you when your suspension will end. During this suspension, you will not be able to log into Xbox LIVE. Your Xbox LIVE privileges will be automatically reinstated at the end of your suspension period.

Customer Support is not able to modify or provide any further details about your suspension. Additionally, the duration of your suspension is subject to change without prior notice by the LIVE Enforcement Team if we discover additional evidence of violations.

Microsoft expects that all customers abide by the Code of Conduct. The Code of Conduct provides guidelines for appropriate behavior while using the service. Your failure to abide by the Code of Conduct in the future may result in, among other things, longer suspension periods or cancellation of your account.

You can view the Xbox LIVE Code of Conduct from the Xbox LIVE Dashboard under Xbox LIVE Policies in Account Management, or by visiting http://www.xbox.com/live/codeofconduct.htm.You can view the Xbox LIVE Terms of Use by visiting http://www.xbox.com/live/termsofuse.htm.

Note: if you are not a user of Xbox LIVE, this suspension may have been enacted due to your activity in the Zune Social. You can view the Zune Social Code of Conduct by visiting http://www.zune.net/legal/codeOfConduct.htm. You can view the Zune Social Terms of Service by visiting http://www.zune.net/legal/termsofservice.htm.

Thank you,
LIVE Enforcement Team

So, I’m suspended from Xbox Live until tomorrow and apparently there’s nobody I can contact to inquire about it. Instead I get a “Thanks for paying us $50/yr for the last 5 years! Here’s an account suspension to show our appreciation!” email.

If it weren’t for the fact that I regularly play online with a few friends, I’d call and cancel the Xbox Live service entirely and demand a refund for the year that I just paid for purely because of the completely shitty and impersonal service. I’m sorry, but that’s just not how you should treat long time customers.